Last updated on October 26th, 2023 at 17:09
I take my coffee very seriously, but once every so often I lighten the roast and crack a joke about coffee. This article is full of jokes about coffee addicts.
There are the funniest coffee puns, coffee jokes and jokes about coffee that I could think of, find and got sent via our fans and followers on social media.
Keep reading as we crack a joke or two.
Jokes About Coffee Addicts – Short Coffee Jokes
Table Of Contents
- 1. Why did the coffee shop manager fire his barista? He turned up for work in his tea-shirt.
- 2. What is the favorite programming language of baristas? Java.
- 3. What is the favorite exercise of a barista? The French press.
- 4. How did the coffee loving hipster burn their tongue? They drunk their coffee before it was cool.
- 5. What does a coffee shop gossip to do? – They spill the beans.
- 6. Why are coffee beans just like teenagers? They are both getting grounded.
- 7. What type of sugar does Lady Gaga have in her coffee? Raw Raw Raw Raw.
- 8. I had my coffee cup stolen. I filled in a police report and had to check out some mug shots.
- 9. How do coffee lovers take their coffee? Very seriously.
- 10. Han Solo Owed coffee, but who to? Java the Hut.
Read: Best coffee jokes
- 11. In this beautiful world, there are only two types of people, those that love coffee and liars.
- 12. Why does Moses not like instant coffee? Because He-brews his coffee.
- 13. Why is coffee nicknamed mud? Because it was ground this morning.
- 14. Eric Clapton is like specialty coffee – He’s good without cream.
- 15. Never discuss coffee with sensitive people – it can end up being a strong heated debate.
- 16. How do coffee addicts like their women? Some like a tall blonde, others like a brew-nette.
- 17. A coffee addict went to the doctor complaining of a stabbing pain in his eye every single time he takes a sip of coffee, His doctor asked “are you taking the spoon out?”
- 18. A builder came into my coffee shop, carrying a chunk of asphalt on his shoulder “I’ll have a cortado for me and a cappuccino for the road”.
- 19. As a coffee addict I swear, sleep is a weak substitute for coffee!
- 20. As a coffee addict I am convinced that coffee is a tamer cocaine – I call it diet coke.
Read: decaf coffee jokes
- 21. What do you call a coffee lover that is addicted to the caffeine effects? A caffeind.
- 22. The correct name for a some that doesn’t consume caffeine, coffee or believe in religion is a Teaist.
- 23. The best papers are written with alcohol and edited with caffeine, but wisdom is knowing that a Jaeger bomb is not a productivity tool.
- 24. Why did the coffee addicted crow get agitated? Because it was Caw fee
- 25. I’m such a coffee addict, my doctor took a blood test and told me my blood group is coffee.
- 26. The best men are just like coffee – tall, rich and keep you all night long!
- 27. My coffee addict paramedic believed that CPR stood for Coffee Provides Resuscitation.
- 28. As a coffee addict and a devout Christian, I never let women make coffee – it says in the bible He-brews.
- 29. Coffee addicts don’t sweat, they percolate.
- 30. Coffee addicts don’t get mad, they get steamed.
- 31. True coffee addicts don’t tan, they roast.
- 32. Next level coffee addicts turn up at alcohol anon meetings for the free coffee.
- 33. Coffee addicts don’t have a problem with caffeine, they have a problem without it.
- 34. If coffee addicts dies by coffee death is painless…and instant.
- 35. As a self confessed coffee addict, I am convinced Henry 8th loved his coffee de-cap-innated.
- 36. Teenage coffee addicts love to stir up some trouble.
- 37. A coffee addicted lawyer is always looking for grounds for appeal.
- 38. A coffee addict’s favorite movie is lord of the beans.
Read: Coffee Puns
Final Thoughts Jokes About Coffee Addicts
I hope that you have enjoyed these jokes about coffee addicts. We love a laugh and a good joke, especially ones about coffee addicts.
If you have a funny joke or witty pun about coffee addicts – we will be delighted to add it to this list. Look for us on social media and send them to us on Facebook/Meta.
Derek Marshall
Derek Marshall, a certified barista by the Specialty Coffee Association possesses over two decades of experience in specialty coffee shops. He holds professional certifications for coffee brewing and barista skills. Derek is also an author with authoritative books covering various coffee topics including specialty coffee, sustainability and coffee, coffee brewing, coffee recipes, coffee cocktails and books focusing on Brazilian coffee, Vietnamese coffee, Indonesian coffee and Malaysian coffee. As a barista for over two decades, Derek Marshall has worked in specialty coffee shops across the United Kingdom, Spain, Thailand, Malaysia, Cambodia, Indonesia, and Vietnam. His expertise extends to the distinct coffee cultures, specialty beverages, and brewing techniques of each nation. Functioning as a coffee consultant, Derek charges US$50 per hour. To learn more about Derek Marshall and Latte Love Brew, visit his About Me Page. For coffee inquiries, contact him at +34-639-410-375 or Derek@LatteLoveBrew.com, mentioning your name and location
